We gather at conferences and seminars because want to learn, because we care, and because we want to be part of the solution.  Each of our stories and experiences are unique which is why we must work together, weaving together these differences to make the fabric of our outcomes stronger.

Because I grew up in foster care, sometimes people point to me and say that I am one of the success stories, but to me, "survival" is not success.  Yes, it is better to have spent almost 10 years in a lifeboat than to have drowned, but my foster care lifeboat had some serious holes that left me constantly trying to keep the water from pulling me under.

Though I had some bright spots, much of my story does reflect the darker side of the child welfare system in the United States.  When I was a toddler, my mother was arrested and I was placed in foster care where I moved to 14 different homes.  Sometimes I was with my younger brother, but often we were separated.  I later learned that almost 25% of my foster parents were, or became convicted felons. These pedophiles, criminals, alcoholics, abusers, and drug addicts were being paid by the state to care for me, while my biological mother received no resources, education, or guidance-even though her initial arrest was for writing a bad check (an offense far less severe than the crimes of my foster parents).

Before we look at how we can change a broken system of strangers caring for children, we must first examine where we can potentially strengthen biological families so that children in at-risk situations have the potential to grow up with their kin. When I look at the circumstances surrounding my case, the initial charges against my mother were not horrible, but nobody helped her get a job, suitable housing, or gave her any support. She was young, had two small children, and was living with an abusive husband without any education or independence.  If she had been given some direct assistance, perhaps our little family might have survived.

Instead, my brother and I became wards of the state for over a decade each.  Even if our parents could not care for us safely, I was a healthy, intelligent child.  My brother was adorable.  We should have been kept together in a foster home interested in adopting us, or we should have been placed with another suitable relative. Permanency has to be a priority when working with children in care. No person can go through life without the support of at least one caring parent, teacher, or mentor. Eventually, my life was changed by an adoptive family that became a permanent fixture in helping me find my path in the world.

Children in foster care need to get out of the system as soon as possible. We need loving families as much as we need food and oxygen.  Without any of these, we wither and die - even if the death is invisible to those who are not paying attention.

We must forge together as a global community to change things for the children who are now suffering and waiting.  For those already hard at work securing brighter futures for children, I applaud your efforts and only hope many more come to the calling. As the French playwright, Moliere, wrote, "It is not what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable."

Even if we get frustrated with our government, laws, or policies, on the basic community level, each citizen has the power to save another simply by reaching out to them. Because I believe in the great change that can happen on the community level, one child at a time, I am now a foster parent myself. I know that I have the power to change the lives of the children in my home if nothing else.  We must ensure that each young voice is heard, and together, our voices can create a choir that will be heard around the world.

By Ashley Rhodes-Courter © Ashley Rhodes-Courter

Web site: http://www.rhodes-courter.com/